I’ve been through a lot of tough times throughout my life but honestly, losing Scooter has been one of the toughest. Losing a pet is always hard, but to me, losing Scooter has felt like so much more. He was truly apart of the family and his loss has felt unbearable at times. We all deal with grief differently — there’s definitely no right or wrong way. My heart has hurt so bad though that I spent some time trying to find resources that could help me through the process and I didn’t quite find what I needed. So even though it’s tough, I thought I would share some of the ways I’ve been dealing with things in case they may be able to help you too, either now or later.
Lean into Others
This isn’t the time to be miss independent and try to handle this loss on your own. 👈Usually me. Seriously though, when you’ve lost someone that meant so much to you, you’re going to need your people. Maybe that’s your significant other, your parents, your kids, your friends, whoever that is try and embrace their support right now. When they send their love, really try and receive it and if they ask if you’re okay be honest with them. You do not need to bear this on your own so it’s important to let them know you need them. This experience has really emphasized how much I’ve needed others and I’ve been incredibility thankful for all of my family and friends (near and far) who have reached out. I didn’t know how much I needed it and being able to lean into that support has been critical in getting me through.
Really Feel Your Feelings
For me, usually, I try and distract myself with other things or try to stay busy so I can avoid feeling things that hurt so much so deeply. While it may help at the time, it usually just ends up making the whole process worse because I put off actually dealing with my emotions. Grief is hard. Really freaking hard, but not dealing with it can just dig a deeper hole around you. Yes, your feelings will go in waves and sometimes you’ll feel like you are okay and the next you’re falling apart but don’t be afraid to really feel those feelings. It’s a process and not something that is just going to go away, but when you allow yourself to feel those emotions it can help give you the strength to keep going. It’s SO hard and there are so many emotions involved but remember this only hurts so bad because you loved them so much. It’s a painful comfort during times like this.
Write it Out
Writing is the number one way I work through things. Hiii this blog post is part of that process. Whether that’s on my blog or just having a mind dump in a journal. It’s the one thing I’ve found that helps me from just bottling everything up — something that never ends well. This process is always really freaking tough at the time, but the process of it is very therapeutic and it always has a way of making be feel a little better when I’m done.
Put Their Things Away
Ah, this one was tough. As soon as Scoots was gone, we made the tough decision to put away his things. His bed, toys, pillows and blankets, bowls, etc. This WHOLE house reminds me of him and seeing his bed and bowls knowing he wasn’t going to use them anymore just made it even tougher. At first, I felt bad putting away his things so soon because it felt like I was getting rid of him but we kept up all of the photos of him and that was what was really important. Things are just things, and I realized by putting them away it allowed me to focus on what was really important, his memory.
Make a Photobook
Holy hell was this process an up and down ride, but I’m so glad I did it. The day after Scooter passed, I spent almost ALL day going through photos from the last almost 10 years. You’d think he was the most photographed little guy ever. This was a tough process, no doubt, but looking back on how full his life was and how many adventures we had together brought me some peace. It was a very therapeutic process that helped with feeling those emotions plus allowed me to organize things so that I’ll have a great book of all of our memories whenever I’m missing him. I’m sure it will be really sad the first few times I look at it, but hopefully, as the years go by those tears will shift to more smiles and I’ll be so thankful that I put it together. If you’re looking for a service, I recommend trying Chatbooks too. I’ve used some other services before and really liked their service because it was a lot simpler. The focus is more on the photos and less on having to organize things and deal with formatting — which definitely wasn’t something I wanted to have to deal with. A friend also shared a $10 off code with me which was nice because I went wayyy over the standard number of pages so if you use it, this code can help you too.
Watch Old Videos
If you have old videos, spend some time looking at them. For some reason, going through photos made me much sadder and watching videos brought me more relief. I think because I was able to actually see the little guy in action and his personality in full form. For this, I was grateful I shared so much of his life on Instagram! Not going to lie… about 80% of my Instagram stories… maybe even more… were of him and watching them back really brought me a lot of joy.
Like I mentioned, everyone grieves differently and maybe the things that have been getting me through this first week will evolve, but I hope you find some comfort in my advice. Hang in there my friends.